This Glossary should help you understand computer terms much more easily!!! 640 K barrier - The finish line in a mega-marathon. Access Time - Foreplay. Analog - What Ana tosses on to the fire. Assembly Language - put Tab A into slot B, then put Tab C... Audit trail - What the IRS does. Bandwidth - Limited by the size of the stage they are playing on Battery Backup -going in reverse in a golf cart. BBS - T-telling T-tall S-stories. Benchmark - What happens when your saw hits the bench. Broadband - All female rock group. Cache Memory - remembering how much you spent. Carrier Detect - "I See the Mail Man " CASE - 24 bottles Control Character - Prison Guard Conventional Memory - Remembering what you did at the convention Copy Protection - Wearing a condom. copyright - vs copy wrong. Cursor - garbage mouth daisy chain - a leash for dogs named Daisy. DAT - opposite of DIS Delimiter - person who says " Dat's enough". Density - How to measure IQ Dhrystones - opposite of Whetstones. DIP switch - How my sister gets a new boyfriend. Dot pitch -" Dorothy winds up and delivers a slow ball". EBCDIC - Similar to herpes EMS - Prior to PMS end user - prison cell mate escape sequence - Distract the guards, dig tunnel, cut thru' fence..... Ethernet - used to catch etherbunny. Fixed disk - not broken any more. flashEPROM - as opposed to dull prom. Flat bed Scanner - Hooker looking for change flat file - file with all the air let out full duplex - a 2 bed house with 16 occupants. groupware - clothes swapping hacker - someone with smoker's cough half-height drive - a midget's sexual capability. hand scanner - singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings. heap - old car high density disk - very stupid floppy hypertext - word on amphetamines. ink jet - used for sky writing joystick - aww you know!! local bus - goes anywhere that's local low-level language - from the gutter high-level language - spoken by the hoi polloi machine dependency - computer addiction mainframe - akin to main squeeze modem - what gardeners do to lawns overlay - when chickens make too many eggs PCMCIA - People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms Pentium - The thing that swings to and fro on the clock plotter - a deceitful person Protected memory - Remembering to wear a condom right justified - vs. wrong justified Software piracy - stealing a ship's programme Spreadsheet - hooker's foreplay Subroutine - daily actions of submarine Surge protector - a condom trackball - What sprinters and runners get if they don't wear support! Twisted pair - see above Work sheet - Hooker's work area Y-Modem - Because